NOT THE MAIN CHARACTER
a learning and community space for those who love to help others shine
Are you someone who has never quite bought into the idea that we all need a “personal brand” or “15 minutes of fame”? Are you more comfortable behind the scenes, performing small tasks, and supporting other folks to help them shine? Are you that friend that is the ‘designated cheerleader’ or ‘expert problem solver’? Do you gravitate towards and deeply enjoy roles that tend to be outside of the limelight? Then this learning and community space might be for you!
Not everyone needs (or wants) the spotlight!
The spotlight is not for everyone!
Hi. My name is Krista and in case you hadn’t already guessed, I more or less described myself in those questions above. I have been working with Heather as her right-hand person/work wife for the last eight years and if I had a dollar for every time someone asked when I would write a book or a course about how I am able to do what I do for her, I would have… maybe $12.34.
All joking aside, I have spent at least five of those eight years trying to figure out how to explain or describe what it is I do in our relationship. Most of the time, I would simply say, “I don’t know. I just do it.” In the write-ups we did about each other, Heather identified some of the things she has appreciated about what I bring to the table, but it’s been hard for me to parse those out and turn them into something I could share with others.
I won’t lie, working so closely with someone who is amazingly capable of putting her own learnings into words that can then be shared and taught makes my comparison gremlins flare to life pretty hard, and it’s been a bit of a struggle for me to find my voice in all of this. However, something finally clicked for me and I was able to identify what it was I wanted to share with you about being an excellent support person.
Communities flourish when we all contribute our strengths.
Communities flourish when we all contribute.
This course, cheekily named “Not the Main Character – a learning and community space for those who love to help others shine” is obviously very meta. I am making myself the main character to talk about not being the main character. Yes, you’re allowed to chuckle at that!
“I have had the pleasure of working with Krista on a variety of projects over many years. In each situation I have benefited both from her leadership skills and her support of other leaders on our teams. I have witnessed her honing her ‘behind the scenes’ leadership style which has laid a critical foundation to the work we have done together. I have no doubt that those who take this course will benefit from the years of experience and wisdom Krista has to offer.” – Dr. Jo Unger, Clinical and Consulting Psychologist, President, Manitoba Psychological Society
My goal is not really to teach you all the things I do so that you can replicate them. Instead, here’s what I am hoping this course will accomplish:
1. Explore the complexities of being a support person. There are a lot of moving parts – internally and externally! We’ll look at things like co-dependence, getting our own needs met, secure attachments, boundaries, co-regulation, and how some of us are enculturated into believing support roles are the only ones we’re allowed to have.
2. Be in a learning community with other folks who serve in support roles. I have some ideas and experience on this topic, of course, but I am also all about collaborative learning. I want to make space for us not just to support each other, but to grow and expand on the topics I’ve identified together. I intend for this material to grow and be influenced by those who participate in it!
3. Validate and normalize the idea that we are not all meant to be “the main character” in every facet of life. Having a well-known personal brand, getting that 15 seconds of fame, going viral, or otherwise having everyone know who we are is about as achievable as winning the lottery. We are allowed to do the behind the scenes work and really enjoy it. We are allowed to live our lives and be known well by only small groups of people. It’s not actually important that we all achieve some kind of fame in our lifetimes (take that, capitalism!).
As per my own personality (and sense of humour), here are the topics we will dive into:
- The Joy of Being a Supporting Actor – Why we love what we do
- Talent vs. Socialisation – How to tell the difference and why it matters
- The Co-Regulators! – Managing nervous system activation together
- Ignore the person behind the curtain! – Humility vs. Fear: What’s at the root of being unwilling to be seen?
- Pay attention to me! – Resentment and the challenges of getting your own needs met
- Secure Identities + Secure Attachment = Reduced Codependency – How being a whole person makes us better at supporting others
- The Myth of the Monogamous Sidekick – Why it’s not wise to put all our energy in one person all of the time
- Not a leader, but still a leader – Leading from beside & behind
- Yours, Mine & Ours – Making, keeping & renegotiating boundaries
- Guard dog, Cheerleader, Guardian & Space Holder – Navigating our many roles
- The Mystery of the “We” – What really happens when two or three gather together?
- “I’m with you” – Allyship & how we show up
Join our community and explore your strengths.
Join us and explore your strengths.
“I’ve had the honor and pleasure of being part of a number of circles hosted by Krista. These circles include those as part of our ongoing learning as master practitioner candidates and as well as the organizational structure necessary to support those teaching in the Foundation and Certification programs. Krista holds space with a unique blend of gentleness, inquiry, and flow. She arrives at circle with a solid foundation, topic, and goal in mind. And then she invites the beauty of what each participant brings to not simply join the circle but shape the circle. With every circle and discussion with Krista, I’ve come away with new perspectives, solid and useful information, and deeper questions.”
– Mary Jo Burkhard, Associate Dean for Faculty & Staff Affairs, Ohio State University
This eight-week course will include:
- Written* lessons on each topic which will include my own thoughts and lots of resources you can dive into on your own.
- Interviews (either live or pre-recorded) with others who also engage in support roles.
- Weekly 90 minute calls to digest and integrate our learnings together.
- On-line community space on Mighty Networks where we can continue to connect, ask questions, and yes, even disagree (with kindness, of course!).
(*I will also do audio recordings of each lesson!)
We’re flipping the script on this course! Though I’m more inclined to play the secondary character, I (Krista) am stepping into the lead role to teach about it. Heather will try out the secondary character role, supporting the course calls as guardian of the circle. I know we’ll have some fun with this role reversal! (Insert slightly evil laugh.)
If you want to learn more about us, read the bios we wrote for each other.
“I had the great privilege of witnessing the deep partnership between Heather and Krista as I helped them form their business. Each shows up powerfully, but it was especially interesting to see the role that Krista played in her deep understanding of the entire ecosystem of the business. Working with her will be a powerful and meaningful experience!””- Pamela Slim, award-winning author, speaker, and business consultant
I’m inviting in some other wisdom as well.
You’ll have access to recorded interviews with several other people who understand the value and unique skillset of the secondary character. Some of those people are Ann Linnea and Christina Baldwin (co-founders of The Circle Way), La’Vista Jones (founder and lead strategist at 31 Marketplace), and Lorraine Lima (who many of you might have been introduced to in Heather’s first book, as the person who brought her smoothies while she wrote in the cabin at the back of their property).
The course will run from September 3 to October 22. Calls will be on Tuesdays at 7pm CDT (12 am GMT next day) and will run for 90 minutes. (All calls will be recorded.)
Price Structure
As part of our commitment to greater equity and accessibility for our global audience, we invite you to choose the level of payment that works for you. (All prices in CAD. Options will be available when you click on “Register Now”.)
If you have any questions, feel welcome to email me through our contact page, or at [email protected]! I am looking forward to being in conversation with all you spectacular support people!
“In the many occasions I have been working with Krista, she holds space so I can grow and thrive. Krista knows instinctly when to step back, encourage me to experiment and just be there. I develop a lot of trust in myself, knowing for sure that Krista is having my back. Krista is an embodiment of a leader-from-behind. Not only does she create a strong backbone for the team by modeling trust and offering timely nudge when opportunities for growth open up, Krista is a grounded practitioner of vulnerability and deep inner work. Her depth of soul makes it so relatable to be in the same space with. As she steps up this time to be the host of the program, I know for sure that we will have a well of rich experiences, insights and stories to be unpacked in this learning space together!” – Nam Taro, facilitator, circle host, and Master Holding Space Practitioner